This is a topic I have wanted to cover for a while.. I think my hesitation in sharing our family’s faith journey is the fear of sounding like a know-it-all when it comes to raising kids who love God and love others. My husband John and I are flawed people and thus are flawed parents (just ask our kids). Because of our failures, I’ve had to figure out through trial and error what works best for our family when it comes to building faith disciplines.
In addition, John and I are still learning what discipleship looks like in each new parenting phase. Gone are the days when I would teach my toddlers to recite Psalm 23 while lying alongside them in bed. kissing and praying over “owies,” or belting out Jesus Loves Me while cleaning up wooden blocks.
Now, John and I are learning to trust that the faith and values we have instilled in our daughter over these last 18 years will produce eternal fruit in her life. We sow, we water, and God brings the increase.
(1 Cor. 3:6)
Also, please know that this blog is not intended to bring guilt or sling shame on the reader. The goal is to inspire and perhaps challenge all of us to prioritize building a culture of faith in the home. In other words, this blog is a mixture of simple discipleship values and practical faith “hacks” to help families find their footing in the glorious realm of building the family altar (as my prayer movement colleagues like to say).
Who's this blog for?
If your family is going a thousand miles a minute and focused family discipleship feels like a wistful dream, this blog is for you.
If you’re a single mom or dad (or grandparent) trying to figure out how to model a lifestyle of faith to your child, this blog is for you.
If you feel like you’ve totally failed at parenting and are desperate to see God move in your child’s life, this blog is for you.
If you’re new to faith in Jesus and are desiring to establish new family discipleship rhythms, this blog is for you.
If you breathe, there's something in this blog for you.
Faith Hack #1 - Pray Together Often
Our desire was to model a lifestyle of prayer to our children from the time they were toddlers. From before their first babbles, John and I would pray with them before they went to bed at night. Sometimes it was a simple blessing and sometimes we petitioned God on behalf of our needs or the needs of others. Our prayers were never long. We wanted to link bedtime to conversation with God.
Pray Together in the Car
As our kids grew older, our nightly prayer routine become less consistent. I had a good friend (shout out to Megann) who told me that she and her 3 kids prayed together on the way to school every day. I was surprised at the simplicity and practicality of that habit. So, Ellie, Robert, and I began to do the same thing. What a game-changer! It became such a habit, there are times when we are driving somewhere together on weekends that we still pray together in the car.
What do we pray about? Protection for the day, any tests they are taking, any upcoming sports games, plus I always make our kids pray for others during that time. Ellie prays for ALL of her friends by name and little petitions for certain friends if she knows something challenging is going on in their lives. Robert is much more succinct - good health, good day, and healing for certain individuals. All together, we’re looking at a 1-2 minute prayer from each of the kids.
And when we see God answer our prayers? I encourage Ellie and Robert to pause right then and give thanks to God for His goodness. Our heart is for thankfulness to become part of our family’s culture.
Pray for Healing
We don’t just grab the Ibuprofen bottle - our family culture is to pause and first pray for healing. After we pray, I always ask how they are feeling. If they don’t feel a major change, we pray again. If we still don’t feel a change, then we may take some medicine. We have seen God perform many healings in our family over the years (and He’s also healed others through their hands). My desire has always been to instill in them the expectation that God still heals today.
Say Grace Before You Eat
We always bless our food before we eat dinner together. We often use our favorite Lutheran mealtime prayer: Come Lord Jesus, be our guest and let Thy gifts to us be blessed. Amen.
Every month, it has become our family’s rhythm to host a game night for Ellie and/or Robert’s friends from school. Imagine an evening of loud, wholesome fun and laughter over games such as Exploding Kittens (yes that’s an actual game), Avalon, or Codenames. Before the teens partake of the meal/snacks, we bless the food and the evening in the name of Jesus. I call it our “Duck Dynasty” move (the reality show where a Christian family in Louisiana would close every episode with a prayer around the dinner table). We’re not trying to proselytize at that moment, just inviting these wonderful teens to taste our lifestyle of faith (pun intended! Haha!).
Faith Hack #2 - Read Scripture Together
Have you ever wondered how to facilitate family devotions? Me, too! For many years, I have felt pretty lame in that area. We would start some sort of weekly devotional rhythm only to watch it quickly fade away like a seagull flying into the sunset.
I just couldn’t figure out how to prioritize studying the Bible as a family as my kids grew into teenagers. To make matters worse, I could sense in the Spirit that their public school culture was beginning to sway them. It’s as if I could see their souls being buffeted by the strong winds of secular agenda and a vulgar pop culture. I was frustrated and would often spend time crying out to God for an answer.
Here’s my confession - I think I had been relying too heavily upon our kids’ Lutheran school education and our church’s youth group/Sunday school for their discipleship in the Word. Once they hit public school, that wasn’t enough.
One day, I felt like the Holy Spirit dropped a simple idea into my heart: Read the Bible together on the way to school using the Bible App on my iphone. (My dad used to read the Bible with my brothers and I before school when we were younger. )
The kids and I already prayed together in the van, but I soon learned that prayer alone was not enough to plumb line them with Truth. So, our family began to read through the Gospel of Matthew as we drove to their high school. We didn’t have much time to read, but we made it our morning habit for Ellie and Robert to take turns reading that Gospel out loud. I promise you that this simple habit was pivotal in their walk with the Lord. Within weeks, the buffeting I had sensed just evaporated. I sensed that my kids were again planted on solid ground.
On a side note, in case you are wondering, Robert and I are slowly working through Genesis.
Memorize Scripture Together
As I mentioned in my introduction, I used to memorize Bible verses with Ellie and Robert when they were younger. Then, we went quite a few years before we started memorizing scripture together again.
When we started reading the Bible in the van together, we also would take a month here or there to memorize a larger passage of scripture. I’d write out the chapter we were memorizing on 3x5 cards, tape them together, and then bring them out from the middle glove box every morning as we drove to school. One of the kids would hold the cards and lead us in memorizing the passage one verse at a time. It took some time, but we completed both Psalm 1 and Psalm 91 before Ellie graduated in the Spring.
Faith Hack #3 - Worship God Together
We prioritize going to church as a family - and our teenagers are required to stand up during worship and even sing. Both of our kids are musical, so there has never been much of a wrestle regarding their singing.
When it came to choosing where we were going to worship here in St. Louis, we included our kids in that process. For many years John and/or I have served on the pastoral staff at different churches, so our kids did not have a choice as to where we chose to fellowship. What a beautiful thing it was to include them in that sacred decision. And we found out that our kids definitely had opinions! Haha!
We also brought them with us to the Kalamazoo House of Prayer when they were younger, a prayer ministry my husband and I helped to lead. They didn’t have to always stay in the same room where the worship, prayer, and preaching was happening. More than once I heard them singing along with the worship leader while playing on their iPad under a table in the fellowship area. I wanted them to be in the manifest presence of God even if they weren’t always directly engaged with the Lord in an official worship expression, such as waving a banner or singing. When they got old enough to stay home, we did not force them to accompany us on those Friday evenings. We never wanted them to dread coming to the House of God. Church attendance was mandated, but extra curricular worship events were not.
Faith Hack #4 - Serve/Volunteer/Minister Together
One of my daily prayers for my family is that we would “see people as God sees them, love them as He loves them, and serve them as He serves them.” Likewise, since Ellie and Robert were very young, we have sought to include them in mission trips, street ministry, public protests against injustice, volunteering for VBS, ministering in worship, etc. It definitely would have been easier at times to let them stay home - and sometimes we did if we felt like the situation could prove volatile. From “doing justly” to “comforting those who mourn” to “making disciples of all nations,” we wanted Ellie and Robert to experience what vibrant, messy, dirt-under-the-fingernails faith looks like in our every day lives. We wanted loving and serving others to be normal.
Looking for some ideas on where to serve? My hair stylist and her young adult daughter volunteer at an animal shelter for a few hours every month here in St. Louis. I have another friend whose teens help teach Sunday School. One of my piano students has recently started to serve meals at a local soup kitchen with his family. An entire blog could be written just on the benefits of cultivating a lifestyle of service. Kids who are taught to care and serve tend to grow up into adults who are compassionate and serve.
Need more convincing? Check out these articles on the long term impact of serving together as a family.
I hope you’ve found some of these ideas to be helpful. I’d love to hear what are some ways you’ve learned to cultivate a lifestyle of faith in your family. Or, maybe you have questions based on your specific situation? Make sure to leave a comment below.
God Bless!
